Dear Wiseguy: Navigating Life’s Ups and Downs

Dear WiseGuy,

I am an ambitious and relatively successful individual who has for the most part done well in life. But like my friends, my life is full of “ups and downs” with no happy medium every being achieved. I find this very hard on me and want to find a way to get of this non-stop “emotional roller coaster!” Would you have any helpful insights?

Rolling but not rocking, Calgary, AB

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Dear Rolling,

Essentially, while we are here on Earth it is important for us to partake of all its gifts so that we may experience and grow from them.

However, the challenge occurs when we become “identified” with what we partake in – our homes, our cars, our relationships, and believe them to be indispensable. We forget that “change” is the only constant here, and in this forgetting we loose our equilibrium when our relationships or our careers (for instance) undergo change.

Accepting change is part of our essential learning while we are here so I suggest that you being to practice “healthy detachment.”

Healthy Detachment

Healthy detachment advocates that although we are here to partake whole heartedly in all of life’s offerings, we must nevertheless remain “detached” enough so that when these things seem as if they are taken from us we do not loose our equilibrium and go for a dive!

With Healthy Detachment, you can enter situations knowing that you can enjoy them “in the moment, for the moment,” and not invest in keeping them the same forever. This wisdom provides a certain freedom so that you can begin to “own” your creations, rather being in a state where your creations own you. This would be more like the dog waging the tail, rather than the other way around (which is often how we live our lives).

The Observer

To begin practicing Healthy Detachment imagine putting yourself into “observer” mode. By becoming an observer in and of your life (and the choices you make in it), will are enabled to consciously identify which choices are keeping you on the roller coaster and which ones may free you from it’s constant motion. You may be surprised to see that much of what you may have thought was important and essential, is or has become meaningless and may actually be toxic and harmful.

Ultimately, through developing an observer who has a sense of detached awareness, you can proceed to get into the driver’s seat of your life and begin making choices to support you in being centered, focused and free from the emotional roller coaster.